funny happiness quotes

Live as long as you may, the first twenty years are the longest half of your life. ~Robert Southey, The Doctor


As I grow older I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. ~Andrew Carnegie


If by chance I seated myself to write, she very slyly, very tenderly, seeking protection and caresses, would softly take her place on my knee and follow the comings and goings of my pen -sometimes effacing, with an unintentional stroke of her paw, lines of whose tenor she disapproved. ~Pierre Loti


Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists. ~Norman Mailer


I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they'll find me like a strip of bacon - a streak of lean and a streak of fat. ~Texas Guinan


It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required. ~Stephen Leacock


The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity. ~Mark Twain


If you have the will to win, you have achieved half your success; if you don't, you have achieved half your failure. ~David Ambrose


A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self. ~Marian Sandmaier


Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray. ~Author Unknown


I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-coloured, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills. ~Malcolm Muggeridge, 1962


Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation. ~James Thurber, Further Fables for Our Time, 1956


Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference. ~Arie Pencovici


You are the music while the music lasts. ~T.S. Eliot


A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?, 1967


After you've done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over. ~Alfred Edward Perlman, New York Times, 3 July 1958


Religion seems to have a way of making people abandon logic. ~Amanda Baxter


When it comes to anything that's social, whether it's your family, your school, your community, your business or your country, winning is a team sport. ~Bill Clinton


It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion. ~Horace It is sweet to serve one's country by deeds, and it is not absurd to serve her by words. ~Sallust


A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. ~G.K. Chesterton