birthday poems for friends

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little. ~John Kenneth Galbraith, The Affluent Society


In search of my mother's garden, I found my own. ~Alice Walker


Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill scoured by a whiff of arrogance. ~Alistair Cooke


Amount of time it takes for a dog to "do its business" is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner's outerwear. ~Betsy Canas Garmon, www.wildthymecreative.com


Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary


Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. ~Irvin S. Cobb


The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook. ~Andy Rooney


Your friend is that man who knows all about you, and still likes you. ~Elbert Hubbard


This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. ~Conan O'Brien


Our virtues and vices couple with one another, and get children that resemble both their parents. ~George Savile, Marquess de Halifax, Miscellaneous Thoughts and Reflections


The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m. ~Author Unknown


What may be done at any time will be done at no time. ~Scottish Proverb


Dig a trench through a landfill and you will see layers of phone books like geographical strata or layers of cake.... During a recent landfill dig in Phoenix, I found newspapers dating from 1952 that looked so fresh you might read one over breakfast. ~William Rathje, The Economist, 8 September 1990


If you think you're free, there's no escape possible. ~Ram Dass


Caring is the essence of nursing. ~Jean Watson


At a certain age some people's minds close up; they live on their intellectual fat. ~William Lyon Phelps


What's done to children, they will do to society. ~Karl Menninger


I've been looking over the list of spring chores I made up last fall, and darned if they aren't fall chores, after all. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


I think there is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. ~Gary Hart


I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. ~Steven Wright