funny relationship quotes

America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. ~John Updike


As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is. ~Eric Sevareid


No religion is a true religion that does not make men tingle to their finger tips with a sense of infinite hazard. ~William Ernest Hocking


And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow. ~G.K. Chesterton


A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills. A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor. ~Paul-Jean Toulet


Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that. ~Jim Murray


To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter. ~Euripides


Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be. ~Author Unknown


Fire in the heart sends smoke into the head. ~Proverb


Sun spreads through the treetops like an epidemic. ~Dave Bonta, from The Morning Porch blog at www.morningporch.com/post/96792742/orange-tabby


I will lift up mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-coloured, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills. ~Malcolm Muggeridge


At the beginning of a love affair, not even the neurotic is neurotic. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it. ~Emily Dickinson


Tears of joy are like the summer rain drops pierced by sunbeams. ~Hosea Ballou


The benefits to the mother of immediate breastfeeding are innumerable, not the least of which after the weariness of labor and birth is the emotional gratification, the feeling of strength, the composure, and the sense of fulfillment that comes with the handling and suckling of the baby. ~Ashley Montague


Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance. ~Author Unknown


The historian must serve two masters, the past and the present. ~Fritz Stern, The Varieties of History


To decide is to walk facing forward with nary a crick in your neck from looking back at the crossroads. ~Betsy Canas Garmon


In the coldest February, as in every other month in every other year, the best thing to hold on to in this world is each other. ~Linda Ellerbee, Move On: Adventures in the Real World


It is not without good reason said, that he who has not a good memory should never take upon him the trade of lying. ~Michel de Montaigne, translated