funny quotes from step brothers

My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


These martyrs of patriotism gave their lives for an idea. ~Schuyler Colfax


Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust - we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper. ~Albert Einstein, in The Saturday Evening Post, 26 October 1929


Never be the first to arrive at a party or the last to go home, and never, ever be both. ~David Brown, quoted in Reader's Digest "Quotable Quotes," April 2004


A steady job and a mutual fund is still the best defense against social security. ~Author Unknown


No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. ~Hal Borland


The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom. ~Guy de Maupassant


Courtship to marriage is as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. ~William Congreve, The Old Bachelor, 1693


I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. ~Ronald Reagan


Man is a knot into which relationships are tied. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Flight to Arras, 1942, translated from French by Lewis Galantiere


He who sings frightens away his ills. ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote


People that don't like cats haven't met the right one yet. ~Deborah A. Edwards


Sometimes a man imagines that he will lose himself if he gives himself, and keep himself if he hides himself. But the contrary takes place with terrible exactitude. ~Ernest Hello


No man is a failure who is enjoying life. ~William Feather


Action is the last resource of those who know not how to dream. ~Oscar Wilde


False eloquence is exaggeration; true eloquence is emphasis. ~William Alger


Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. ~Seneca the Younger


And as the seasons come and go, here's something you might like to know. There are fairies everywhere: under bushes, in the air, playing games just like you play, singing through their busy day. So listen, touch, and look around - in the air and on the ground. And if you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wing. ~Author Unknown


My adolescence progressed normally: enough misery to keep the death wish my usual state, an occasional high to keep me from actually taking the gas-pipe. ~Faye Moskowitz


One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good. ~Abe Lemmons